Ernie the Attorney (also on occasion known as Ernest Svenson) had a recent posting entitled "Obsession with accuracy can lead to poor legal writing."
Did you know that there is an annual contest devoted to purposefully bad writing? You may have seen the exemplar of bad writing: the infamous "It was a dark and stormy night." If you are a Peanuts fan, you have often seen Snoopy use it in starting his great American novel.
The contest is described in the contest's site:"Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels."
Edward George Bulwer-Lytton has been credited (if that's the word) with starting the phrase and its associated bad writing. The annual contest is "The Bulwar-Lytton Fiction Contest: Where www Means ‘Wretched Writers Welcome.' " The winners, runners-up and, as the site states, "Dishonorable mentions" are at http://www.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2003.htm
Here are four of my favorites:
The flock of geese flew overhead in a "V" formation - not in an old-fashioned-looking Times New Roman kind of a "V", branched out slightly at the two opposite arms at the top of the "V", nor in a more modern-looking, straight and crisp, linear Arial sort of "V" (although since they were flying, Arial might have been appropriate), but in a slightly asymmetric, tilting off-to-one-side sort of italicized Courier New-like "V" - and LaFonte knew that he was just the type of man to know the difference.* * * The Prince looked down at the motionless form of Sleeping Beauty, wondering how her supple lips would feel against his own and contemplating whether or not an Altoid was strong enough to stand up against the kind of morning breath only a hundred year's nap could create.
* * * Although Sara could believe the brassiere she had found was from a mix-up at the laundromat, that the lipstick on Bill's collar really had been from a cramped elevator, that the stiletto heel was indeed something the cat dragged in, when she pulled Chloe's unmistakable prosthetic arm from under the bed, she realized she had been played for a fool.
* * * Sarah felt bored and unsatisfied, even though her job as a nurse's aide included helping patients and keeping track of the billiards equipment in the recreation room at the Venereal Disease Treatment Center, and she wondered what her mother had been thinking all those years when she repeatedly told her that a young lady should mind herpes and cues.
If you want to enter next year's contest, the rules are listed on the site.
And if you forget the url for the contest, just go into Google and search on "It was a dark and stormy night", and this time include the quotation marks.
HELP WANTED: I believe that somewhere there is a site for the year's worst legal writing. Please let me know its url and I will inflict it on others.